Friday after Ash Wednesday

“And Jesus said to them, ‘Can the wedding guests mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? The days will come, when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast’” (Matthew 9:15).

The triad of Lenten observance is prayer, fasting, and almsgiving – the most recognizable of which is probably fasting. Who among us hasn’t given up chocolate or coffee for Lent? It’s pretty much a certainty that we’ll be giving something up as a symbol of our observance. We’ll probably end up discussing our Lent fasting with growing weariness as the weeks slowly tick by, until we can ravenously chomp down on Easter chocolate.

Fasting is ubiquitous in pretty much every religious tradition, and certainly in JudeoChristianity. But in the reading from Matthew, Jesus explains to the disciples of John that his followers do not fast because they are not in mourning: the bridegroom is with them. Jesus, the bridegroom, is always with us because he is Risen and Ascended, and through the Holy Spirit we are in a relationship with him.

If he’s with us, why are we fasting? We should be full of joy, not mired in mourning. Why such an emphasis on finding God by giving things up?

Our fasting should not be about giving something up for the sake of doing so, or as a sign of mourning. If we fast, it has to be about our relationship with Jesus. We should not fast without praying. Lent has to be at least as much about putting on spiritual discipline as it is about giving something up. We should not fast without almsgiving. If we have so much that we can afford to get rid of something extra for forty days, then we can find joy in giving that something extra to someone who is in need.

Our prayer doesn’t have to be about saying an extra Our Father every day for Lent: it can be about finding new and dynamic ways of thanking God in and with our lives. Almsgiving doesn’t have to be about calculating how much money we would have spent at Starbucks and giving it to the poor: it can be giving our time or skill to someone, or smiling at a stranger, or helping a friend paint their kitchen. It can be anything done for the benefit of another, any giving of yourself motivated by love.

In the same way that prayer and fasting aren’t meant to be about making us sad or keeping tabs on our charity, fasting is meant to fill us with joy by helping our relationship with Jesus grow deeper. Jesus isn’t our taskmaster overlord, demanding constant sacrifice in order to earn his praise. Jesus is our Saviour, who loves us and wants to draw us closer to him.

Sometimes that means giving up chocolate. But most of the time it means giving up anger, revenge, pettiness, and other emotions or behaviours that damage our relationships with God and neighbour. By giving up something that stands between us and God, our fasting can fill us with joy rather than mourning, and help make us into new wineskins that can hold the new wine.